By Monica Scander
I never imagined being in a situation where I would have to conduct preschool classes online due to war circumstances. No one imagines this stuff, no one wants to. No child belongs in such a situation where their safety is threatened and basically stripped from them within seconds. Never would I have thought that there would be one random Wednesday, where I wouldn’t meet with my children in our classroom.
The afternoon that changed everything — all I remember is worrying that all children arrived home safely. Pagers exploding in innocent hands meters away from our school, only to be followed by unimaginable bombings all over our country. No one was safe, and it clearly was not safe enough to be at school—as many educational buildings had become refuge centers for families who were displaced due to their homes being shattered, torn, and unjustly taken from them.
Our innocent, young Lebanese children were going through the adjustment of their lives— barely aware of what’s really happening. It was extremely difficult getting three year olds to open up and get comfortable with me on video call meetings when we had only attended in-person classes for four days before war started happening and all schools shut down. I tried to the best of my ability to make it as interactive and interesting as possible— but I had pre-set lesson plans I needed to follow, so I was limited as well. Personally, I am opposed to allowing children digital access when they should instead be experiencing and discovering life through their own senses and engaging with what the world around them has to offer, but sometimes we must sacrifice and adapt to the unfortunate given circumstances.
We pushed through—I still read stories, sung our favorite songs, and asked them all about their good days. It honestly was such a sensitive topic to discuss, knowing some students really did not have the privilege of being in their own home. I could not expect any academic results from them during this time, as I knew they needed to cope more than anything. So many times we saw frightened reactions to the nearby bomb sounds and tremors—and we apologized to others for such sound inconvenience in the background, when really we just needed someone to reassure us that it would all be okay. There were days where wifi was so bad and cellular data was so slow, that I could not even see them properly nor work with our glitchy screens. What shattered my heart is when they would ask me questions like:
“Why are we not in our class?”
“When will we go back?”
“Will I see you again?”
So many times I had to excuse myself for a minute to calm my crying on the days that were so emotionally overwhelming.
I will forever be grateful for the day we received news of the ceasefire and we were able to go back to school in person. It was amazing to see how they related our virtual experiences and songs to the times we got to do it in person again. Although I have observed more stress-related and PTSD coping mechanisms, like nail-biting, fidgeting, and even non-responsiveness much more in my students this year, we are constantly working together to overcome such behaviors, as we genuinely need time and patience to heal together. We are now closer than ever, and I will never take any day for granted being at school with my kiddos.
Monica Scander works and lives in Lebanon with her family. She is currently taking classes online at Fullerton College, CA. Monica teaches preschool-aged children in Lebanon.
